Has This Ever Happened To You?

Has this ever happened to you?

1     You are in a house of ill repute for the first time really only to buy a beer as there was no other place open in the vicinity….no, for real….and people are calling you by your first name?

2. You are called on stage by a popular artiste in a Caribbean island during a pre-Carnival event and you take the chance thinking ‘nobody know me here’….only to be greeted by a friend from Fyzabad and one from Princes Town right after you done wukking up and leave the stage?

3. You win a prize on a call-in radio programme and go to Port of Spain to collect the prize only to be told that the radio personaility who has to award the prize left early?

4. You return the next week to collect your prize and again he isn’t there…… he left early again?

5. You board a maxi to go to Port of Spain to collect your prize at a radio station for winning a call in programme and you are stricken by a sudden bout of cold sweating, trembling body impending diahorrea by the Freeport Flyover?

6. With this sudden urge you pick up an Evening News lying on the floor of the maxi and pretend to read knowing that the centre page of this easily available newspaper could be your only hope for toilet paper?

7. You visit a young lady as a single young man who just wants to be friends…. for the first time….. and her father asks, ‘what are your intentions?’

8. When you leave that young lady’s house shortly after telling her father that ‘you intend to play football and cricket for Trinidad and Tobago’ you recognize that you have no money?

9. You are watching the national men’s football team at a football match and the nutsman whose name rhymes with ‘peddoes’ and who knows you personally stops selling to catch up on old times?

10. You are walking in the general direction of the music trying to find a fete when a man with a toned physique man clad only in a tight white BVD jockey shorts on his way from the party stops to give you directions?

11. You along with other unnamed accomplices, remove several 14 ft lengths of white pine without permission after a school bazaar at a famous school on Carib Street and you are left holding six of those lengths on Carib Street when you are intercepted and apprehended by a benefactor of the said school and are head butted in an attempt to have you name your accomplices?

Just saying…….these may have happened to some people I know.

Names have been withheld to protect the innocent. The brand of the white jockey shorts is accurate.

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